Updated: Sep 12, 2020
Continuing my study of copywriting, I have recently taken Matt Bellassai's lesson on writing content for the internet. Here is my stab at some relatable statements that connect with a target audience. The following points try to relate to a particular audience I can relate to following 5 years of teaching.
1. Training to teach for a new curriculum that was scrapped within minutes.
2. Panicking that Ofsted are coming every time a staff meeting is called out the blue.
3. Claiming it’s time for independent learning when you don’t know the answer.
4. Being asked a spelling, pretending you didn’t hear the question, using google and answering like you didn’t just look it up.
5. The moment of pure fear when you realise you have left your screen on when you think it is on freeze.
6. Trying to shout at a kid but your voice breaks…
7. Regretting making your CV look so good that you now run a club you wish you'd never mentioned.
8. Hearing people telling you teaching is easy because of all the holidays.
9. Looking over the exam paper knowing that every pupil who said it was easy has failed.
10. Telling pupils they can do anything they can dream of and then giving them targets that seriously hinder the dream.
11. Being thankful that so many pupils didn’t answer half the questions because you didn’t want to mark them anyway.
12. Letting the nasty one get rinsed for just long enough before you interrupt and remind everyone to be nice.
13. Seriously contemplating the genius behind corporal punishment.
14. Learning to play deaf so pupils forget you can hear the juicy gossip in the classroom.
15. Sitting in a seat in the staffroom and perpetually worrying that this seat is someone else’s and the wrath is coming.
16. Demonstrating a task to a class and realising halfway through you have done it completely wrong and others know it too.
17. Giving the pupils a wrong answer by accident, once, and apparently that’s the only one they all recall in the exam.
18. Having to justify detentions with parents. I’m honestly not trying to spend a bonus hour with your little darling when I don’t have to.
19. Not recognising a pupil sitting down to talk to you at parents' evening.
20. Deciding how to turn a negative thing into a seemingly positive statement that still tells the pupil's parent that they are a problem.
21. Nodding politely to the worse advice you have ever heard from another teacher.
22. Not knowing how to tell your teaching assistant to calm down a bit.
23. Pulling out all the stops for an observation. Whiteboards.
24. Trying to look away from the horrid display of flirting.
25. Having a conversation with pupils who don't understand personal space.
26. Telling an anecdotal story and realising that the ending is not suitable for the group at all so you attempt to style it out.
27. Questioning the sanity of people who invigilate exams on purpose.
28. Waiting on your new timetable to see how your life is going to look for the next year.
30. Loving working with children one minute and loathing anything that breathes the next.
31. The emotion that comes when you get put on cover, again.
32. Bonding with other teachers who have the same tough class that you do.
33. Realising that what happens in the staffroom today probably happened when you were a kid and you’re left wondering what was said about you.
34. Hearing ‘he said he didn't do it’ from a parent. I guess that settles it then.
35. Protecting your own stationary like Gollum and his ring.
36. Using the surname of a pupil because you can’t pronounce their first name.
37. Trying to get a pupil's attention when you have forgotten their name.
38. Watching some kid peel apart your newly laminated resource.
39. Being asked to sort out the projector for staff meeting because you once turned it off and on again.
40. Deciding teaching is worth it because you got one nice email that said you made a difference.
Teaching is hard and as it transpires so is writing. The journey for this month continues. Liked this content? Give us a <3 below. It costs nothing and helps me create things of extra value!